Homophobic bullying made me who I am today.

By Billy Maguire

When I look back at my teenage years there was obviously a precedent of ‘I wish it was easier for him,’ and at the time, I wish that it was. But now, looking back at my teenage years I’m glad I was bullied for something I couldn’t control.

I suppose you’re thinking, ‘why would you be glad that you were bullied?’ And honestly, I couldn’t pinpoint my exact feelings in words perfectly. I, like many others, have changed drastically because of the bullying that I endured during my teenage years. 

I knew that moving to Plymouth would result in a brand-new life, away from all the negativity that I’d gone through, yet I was still terrified. Would people accept me for who I am, or would I have to hide it like I’d tried to before? Living in Plymouth allowed me to embrace what I’d always been afraid of and be confident in myself. Now, in my second year, I am confident in saying the words ‘I’m gay’ whenever someone asks me if I have a girlfriend yet. 

I don’t think I ever will see myself as the victim in the bullying that occurred. I was bullied and of course, it completely sucked, but it changed my life in more ways than one. I no longer hide who I am, in fear of other’s opinions. It allowed me to build courage in not only myself, but in the actions of others. 

I would never have been able to do this without the help of two of my best friends throughout college, this is as much a love letter to bullying as it is to the girls that helped me through it all. 

Cara, you were the first person that made me feel comfortable in my own skin. You may have been known as ‘the annoying girl in Photography,’ but knowing you were someone that always stood by my side regardless of everyone else’s opinions on me meant that you were the first person, I ever officially came out to and I’d just like to express my gratitude to you, for always supporting me. You made those four years of high school bearable and your love has inspired me every single day to provide a space where people can be unapologetically themselves. You taught me that love has no boundaries and that nobody should be scared to show the world who they are. 

But without Abbie, it is impossible that I would have ever been comfortable expressing my sexuality to anyone. You were the one that physically stood by my side through everything, and I’d like to extend a love letter to you for always convincing me to be unapologetically myself. When life was hard, I knew that I would see you on the daily and I had someone there to support me. I know we aren’t as close as we’ve previously been, but the ‘confident’ individual I am owes itself as much to you as it does to Cara. 

But in-fact, I owe an even bigger thank you to the people at my college, the bullies themselves. I still see you stalking my socials every week but it doesn’t matter because I’m happy you bullied me for being gay. It made me grow stronger and led me to finally heal who I am. 

Being gay isn’t a bad thing, and if you are to come away from this piece with one thing in your mind. It’s that its okay to be yourself. Do not let someone else's opinions diminish who you are, or  want to be. So here’s to my sexuality; for giving me wings to fly and to flourish.

Editor’s note: The opinions expressed in this piece by the author are their own – they do not and are not intended to represent the beliefs and opinions of Plymouth University, University of Plymouth Student Union or the Plymouth Gazette.

Picture credit: Pexels